The wish has been there for a while. It comes back in waves, often in the evening, sometimes in the middle of a conversation. And every time, the same questions catch up with it: is this for me? Will I know how to “do” it? What if I regret it?
These questions are not obstacles. They are exactly the ones worth asking. Here are the most common, with the most honest answers I can give you.
Why do I want this?
This is the first question, and the most important. There is no wrong answer, but some answers are worth pausing over.
Curiosity, the wish to know your body better, the desire for pleasure for yourself, a need for gentleness, the feeling of having set your sensuality aside for too long: these are excellent reasons. Your desire needs no justification beyond itself.
On the other hand, if you are coming because someone told you that you “ought to”, because a partner is insisting, or to prove something, take time to think it over. Yoni massage is only lived well when it is chosen for yourself.
Do I have to do everything the first time?
No. Not at all.
A first session can take place with no approach to intimate areas at all: a sensual full-body massage, same length, same price. It can include external yoni massage only. It can, if you truly wish, include internal touch. None of these options is a compulsory step towards the next.
Many women begin with external massage, and ask for internal touch at a later session, once trust has settled in. I describe the differences in External or internal yoni massage: what changes.
What if I feel nothing?
It is possible, and it is not a failure.
Women’s pleasure needs time, safety, and a body that has stopped keeping watch. During a first session, part of you often stays on guard: that is normal, and even healthy. Some women experience deep relaxation without any particular pleasure, and still leave transformed. Others discover that some areas are sleeping: yoni mapping can help to explore them, with nothing expected.
Feeling nothing does not mean experiencing nothing.
What if I feel too much?
Pleasure rising strongly. An orgasm that takes you by surprise. Tears arriving without warning. Nervous laughter. An old emotion resurfacing.
All of it is welcome, without comment and without judgement. If it is too much, you can ask me to slow down, to pause, to return to a more enveloping touch, or to stop. Your body has the right to respond as it does. I talk about this at more length in Orgasm during a massage: legitimate, not embarrassing.
What if I want to stop?
One word is enough. Stop, wait, not there, softer: the touch stops or changes immediately, with no questions and no disappointment on my side.
And if the opening conversation does not put you at ease, you can leave before the massage even begins, without paying anything. That is the Feeling Guarantee. The whole frame of consent is explained in Consent and yoni massage: a yes, before and during.
How should I prepare?
There is nothing special to do. No waxing, no particular outfit, no ritual. Simply come clean, as for any body treatment. A private shower room is available on site.
A few suggestions all the same:
- Allow time before and after: do not squeeze an important appointment in straight afterwards.
- Choose a comfortable length: for a first session, the Signature (1¾ hours of massage) leaves room to experience everything unhurried. If you would like internal touch, the Immersion (2¼ hours) is more comfortable.
- Write down your questions, even the ones that feel awkward. Especially those.
- Read the charter, if you wish: our trust charter can be downloaded. You can tick your wishes in advance; nothing commits you, and we go over it all together.
- If you have an infection, are pregnant or have recently given birth, tell me beforehand: internal massage will wait, and the rest of the session remains possible.
To go further: First sensual massage: 5 tips for peace of mind.
How do I say what I want?
This is often the hardest question. You do not know which words to use, you are afraid of being clumsy, or of seeming too bold. Here are a few sentences you can use exactly as they are, during the conversation that opens the session:
- “I’d like a full-body massage, without the intimate areas, this time.”
- “I’d like to try yoni massage, but only on the outside.”
- “I’d like to try internal touch, very gently.”
- “I don’t know yet. Could we see how it goes without the internal part?”
- “I’d rather you asked me at each step.”
- “I’m nervous.” (A precious sentence. It lets me adapt the rhythm.)
And if the words do not come, that is fine: I will ask you simple questions, one at a time. There is no exam to pass.
Daring, at your own pace
A first yoni massage does not need to be perfect, complete or spectacular. It only needs to be yours. If you still feel apprehensive, know that it is part of the journey: it is entirely normal.
To learn everything about yoni massage — origins, what happens, frame, prices — you can read the complete guide to yoni massage. And if you simply want to ask a question, with no commitment: +33 7 43 54 47 87, by message or by phone, in English if you prefer.
A first time has nothing to succeed at. It only has to be chosen.